Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
