No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
