she looked like the bat from fern gully.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
