You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
