well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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