Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
