benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
