If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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