Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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