You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
