the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
