have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Panties = found
Randomize
