I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
being pregnant is like rehab
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
