I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
