just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
