I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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