She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You made out with two different species that night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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