I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
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can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
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As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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