Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
