The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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