Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
