Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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