Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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