Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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