AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
