doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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