I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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