Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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