Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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