I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
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