Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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