If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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