ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
ttyl tear gas
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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