there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
