dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
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