i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
