ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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