Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
