You smell like stripper and shame
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
