But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
