Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
