watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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