Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
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I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human