btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What happened to fro yo and sex?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign