My nipple is on Facebook.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..