So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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