I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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