just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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