Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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