How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
