No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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