she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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