Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
not ubering you a puppy
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
