I hate your face
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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