And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think I just sharted jello shots
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize