You can't motorboat a personality
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
