I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
