If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
