Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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