I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
