The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
