He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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