I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
