I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
