but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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