I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You were trust falling into bushes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
