dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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