please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
