He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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