you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
