she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
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and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Who died my cat blue again?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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