9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
