There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize