I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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