Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
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Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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