Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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