All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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