I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he thought i was a dude.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
