We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
