I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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